How to move from pain to clarity in five steps.
When your tolerance reaches crisis point it highlights that this is something you no longer want to endure – You reach your comfort threshold. But usually you’ve been living with discomfort for sometime.
Not wanting something to continue the way it is, and feeling the pain of that fervently can be a great catalyst for change. However, it can also create suffering and even cloud your judgment. This can be why we find it hard to change our circumstances, no matter how uncomfortable or painful they are. We just don’t give our minds the optimum conditions to think our way out of our pain.
Let’s look at how we can change that and turn pain to clarity in six steps.
How often do you wake up wishing something was different?
The feeling it creates becomes an irritation, it feels deeply uncomfortable.
There might be a rush of adrenaline in the discomfort.
You want to escape from that feeling.
You might be wracking your brains, looking for an idea for the perfect way out – that’ll work for everyone, on all levels.
This way of thinking rarely delivers powerful and glorious results.
Try this instead.
Let us begin with what you don’t like:
1. Name your uncomfortable feeling.
Say to yourself ‘something in me feels ___(frustrated/annoyed/upset/………)_____’
This exercise by Ann Weiser Cornell creates space around your thinking and can help dissipate the overwhelm.
You become bigger than the feeling.
So, now you have some space to do some thinking and planning around the situation. The feeling is there, you aren’t denying it, but it isn’t taking over.
2. Write down, with pen and paper. (Not electronically.)
Capture what is working around the situation in question.
List the things you don’t want to change.
When addressing our perceived problems we often downplay the positive aspects of the situation.
We can get stuck by telling ourselves that we can’t have X if we still have Y. Not true.
Free your mind from your perceived limitations.
Now we get to what it is that we want.
3. Write down exactly how you want it to be.
Lots of details, not just ‘ be better at ____’.
Write it in the present tense.
Capture how these things align to your values and long term plans for your life.
eg. ‘I am fulfilled and satisfied at work. My ideas create powerful change.’
‘I am earning ________.
‘I am regularly investing in my financial freedom.’
This next part is exceedingly useful.
Write an action plan from the list of how you want it to be, exactly.
4. Write an action plan with steps for each idea.
Get specific about what you can control.
eg. ‘I am regularly investing in my financial freedom.’
- Cancel old subscriptions.
- Overpay equivalent amount on mortgage monthly/into savings.
- Speak to a financial advisor.
5. Actually take the action.
Yes, writing a list isn’t enough, but writing a massive list is also not helpful.
Take steps, steadily, one at a time.
Remember time is better than task, set a timer for 30 minutes and work through your list, rather than identifying a task and completing that.
We waste so much time jumping between opened tabs on our computers.
Aim to practice ‘deep work’ and celebrate each step you take.
If you aren’t happy and want to change things- create space and know that you know what to do, you just might be fearful of taking the first step.
Want more of this, plus accountability and support?
Work with me.
Let’s have a chat.
You must be logged in to post a comment.