I am ready to give up trying and do something else better instead. Are you? Here’s how not to give up.
This is the second draft of this article. The first one I wrote was almost finished, then I pressed a button, before I had saved it, and lost the whole thing. So, instead of giving up I have stayed to complete this job- which was a perfect illustration for myself of how I feel when things don’t go as planned.
The initial inspiration for this piece was two sessions with two different clients this week with whom we have discussed perseverance. I have been ready to give up, quit, avoid or procrastinate over tasks that initially I found inspiring, but after a matter of days, or even minutes I have talked myself out of doing them.
There are times when I avoid clearing up a mess that I have been party to creating, whether it be physically, emotionally or environmentally.
I notice my pattern of talking around a subject, if I have had a miscommunication with another I might discuss it with anyone but the actual person I need to talk to. Sometimes the clarity we achieve from discussing our thoughts with another, who isn’t involved in the situation, can shed light on your opinions and allow you a clearer more objective perspective, but sometimes just doing all this talking around a subject without any action can just drive you mad! So, let’s look at one of the messes that we create for ourselves, facing up to how and when we quit.
I have chosen the image for today’s post from the Dr Seuss book ‘Oh! The Places You’ll Go’, where the ‘guy’ is “facing up to his (sic) problems whatever they are”, because it is invariably better to approach whatever is bothering you with an honest and compassionate heart, than it is to try and give up, quit or avoid whatever feels hard.
I once heard someone say that a strong relationship isn’t one that is devoid of problems, but one which is comprised of individuals who are willing to communicate with each other openly, with understanding, and willing to be both strong and vulnerable, to get through the hard times. So that is how I choose to make my journey through life, to persevere, even when it feels hard, because those are the times when you learn the really important stuff.
So when things feel hard, when you have all of the most reasonable reasons why you don’t need to ‘rock the boat’ today, that you’re just ‘too tired’ to face that thing right now, or that tomorrow you’ll be in a ‘better head space’ to change that old habit to a new one, just notice how often you quit like that.
The next time you have a flash of inspiration to have a new plan of action I recommend pausing for a minute and writing down all the usual reasons you use to convince yourself that you don’t need to change things or resolve issues that you initially felt inspired to change. Yes, write them ALL down.
Then enjoy the flow of inspiration- get into action- little steps- keep going- bit by bit-you can do it.
When, and it will be when, not if, when you feel like quitting look at the list and you’ll see those old favourite reasons looking back at you in black and white.
At that point it is up to you. You knew that old reason was coming, do you want to listen to that quitting voice or see what life looks like over the horizon in the place called:
“Thanks for your input quitting voice, but I’m going to do it anyway.”
“Congratulations today is your day. You’re off to great places, you’re off and away!” (Dr Seuss)
Hi Beth
I read this with interest because I deserve a gold medal for this behaviour.
My thoughts whether relevant or not but talking from instinct.
As human beings we love the emotion and the talk but the action someone seems hard to do. We fix ourselves in a trance of response which becomes the automatic default programme. When we talk to others they act as an uncaptured awareness bringing into our conscious awareness our thoughts and behaviour. By bringing into conscious awareness we can provide an alternative positive response that overrides the learnt behaviour. We are after all creatures of habit and thrive when connected in good positive relationships. We are all our teachers.