A lovely new notebook, maybe even a colourful pen, inspiration strikes and we write down a list of goals that we want to achieve.
Sometime along the way, the notebook is put on a shelf and the focus moves away from that list. We lose momentum and the goals are literally and metaphorically shelved.
But how do we create a plan that helps us to take action?
Well, first of all we must allow ourselves some time to dream.
What is it that you want? Easier said than done for some…
Typically people work with me because they are feeling disconnected from themselves.
They don’t even know what they want anymore.
They say:
What do I even want?
I just don’t feel right, I’m frustrated and impatient.
I don’t know what I want to do, I just know that I want to feel more myself and less bothered by what other people think.
The key is to give yourself time and space to STOP distracting YOURSELF. We do have preferences for things, it’s just that we have stopped listening to ourselves. We keep busy, we watch screens, we write lists, we do do do and don’t stop.
This is where we bring in the comfort zone bit- it is just as hard for a busy person to slow down as it is for someone who hasn’t taken action for ages to start.
Where are you on that spectrum? The passive personality type who doesn’t want to make the move or the active personality type who doesn’t want to slow down.
We all use distraction techniques to not ‘go there’, to avoid feeling the uncomfortable feelings. Yet, it is our feelings that can help us.
So, what can we do about it.
Answer these questions:
What would I like to do, but I can’t because?
What is missing from my life?
What can’t I create on my own?
What can’t I do in my life?
Now, look at your answers. There isn’t a magic wand that we can wave, but when we look at our beliefs around what we think ISN’T possible, then we can start picking apart these ‘truths’ that we tell ourselves. These beliefs that we dare not even question, because we think they are fundamental truths. They aren’t true, they just have shown up like that for a while for us, so we’ve stopped questioning them.
So, now let’s look again:
What do you actually want for your life?
What do you value?
What do you want to believe is possible?
How do you want to feel?
If we’re going to go for your goals/aims/dreams we might as well make it something that you actually really want.
Choose aims that make your heart and soul sing.
Choose small things to start with, if that helps.
Plan them, involve others, relish them. Feeeeeeeel them.
Appreciate yourself for taking the step, enjoy the journey, rather than fixating on the end point.
So often we move the goalposts- how much of your life already did you really want, you went for it, achieved it and then the shine wore off?
All it takes is for our perspective to shift. We are already living our dream life. At some point you wanted something in your life that you now have. It really is time that you acknowledged yourself for what you have already done. If we don’t take the time to congratulate ourselves today, then tomorrow we still won’t know how to feel that success.
So, let’s practice discovering things that feel good in the moment and appreciating those. Does it feel better to scroll Facebook or plant those bulbs in the garden? Does it feel better to watch TV or walk by a river? Choose what you want to do in the moment.
Awareness is key. The more awareness we can bring to our every day activities the easier it is to achieve a feeling of accomplishment.
Using End Time Feeling is a great way to identify and experience life the way you want to feel it. If you’re not feeling great- choose a way you’d like to feel in an hour and then work backwards. Ask yourself what can I do in this moment to feel that then? When we practice this, our goals become much much easier to achieve, because we experience creating an existence we want every day. We can take ownership of our feelings- if I want to feel _____, then I’ll take _____ action to make _____ a possibility.
You are far more powerful than you EVER give yourself credit for.
So, when we practice the End Time Feeling (ETF) we pick a feeling and work backwards. We can do exactly the same thing for our bigger life goals. If sometimes you don’t know what you want, you DO know how you want to FEEL. Let that feeling be your compass.
Ask yourself, does_______ or _______ or _______ get me closer to that feeling?
Then take action in that direction.
It is a journey.
None of us has a crystal ball, but over the last 20 years this internal barometer of mine has guided me on a journey of growth and discovery.
Sometimes a quick dip in the river is what I choose! It gets me to: grounded, present and calm quicker than anything else I know. It’s a great End Time Feeling.
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