How do I stop worrying about what people think?

I thought it was just me, I had no idea that other people were also really worrying about this. I spent a weekend on a coaching course with 150 other people, then I discovered soooo many other people felt this way too!

I was 23 and I then often had a knot in my stomach, it was because I was trying to second guess others’ opinions and I was always worrying about what other people were thinking. The coaching course that I attended got us all to share with each other just how much time we were spending worrying about other people’s thoughts about us. The age ranges of the other participants were everything from 18 to 91! It wasn’t just the youngsters, everyone shared something on this subject. It dawned on me that pretty much the whole human race was wasting their time doing this for an inordinate amount of time.

What a massive waste of human energy.

With this in mind, I realised that people weren’t thinking about me as much as I imagined. They were too busy worrying about what I was thinking of them. What a hilarious farce!

I had a huge breakthrough about this, that weekend, and haven’t looked back. That was April 2001!

Below, I share some great tips to help you remove your own worry shackles.

Some individuals pride themselves in being empaths and ‘knowing’ what others are thinking! I’m calling bullshit on that too. I have worked with a lot of clients who profess to have this ‘knowing’ and I’ve seen them repeatedly ‘read the room’ incorrectly and be totally off the mark.

Your empathy does not make you a mind reader – they are not the same thing!

Therefore, every time you shrink yourself, edit your truth or stop yourself because of imagined whispers or raised eyebrows, you hand over your power to a phantom jury that doesn’t even exist. Pleeeease don’t give your power away.

Try this on for size instead – we create our own reality – it is all made up.

Nobody has the correct life handbook and nobody is always doing ‘the right thing’, we are all winging it and making it up as we go along. Yes, all of us. So, we might as well do something loving, kind and expressive.

Yes, you’ve heard it before, but it is true – no one else can be you – so be you.

Do these things to try and take your attention away from others’ opinions-

• Set intentions for how you want to ‘be’, no matter what others say or do. eg. ‘be open,’ ‘be inspiring,’ ‘be kind)
• Take others at face value, believe what they say – that is the message they want you to hear. (Obviously, within reason – don’t go off in a car with a stranger to see some puppies.)
• Say what you mean, and mean what you say – don’t fib or you’ll just believe others are fibbing all the time too.

So, next time you think – ‘what did they mean by that?’ or ‘what do they think?’
The answer to tell yourself is ‘I don’t know and its OK that I don’t know.’
I’m not supposed to ‘know’.
Then file that thought in your brain into the ‘I don’t know’ file.

Enjoy.

Message to me today to discuss the possibility of working together.