If you’ve typed those words ‘I’m struggling’ into Google, I want you to know this – that you are aware, brave and hopeful, because you are looking for a solution. Struggling hurts, but it also means you are ready to make a change.
Struggling can be a signal, like a warning light on a dashboard, it’s your mind and body saying, this isn’t working, something needs attention.
Try these things to help you.
Firstly, say ‘Something inside me is struggling with…’ and fill in the blank. Don’t soften it or edit it, just state it, as it is. This simple act begins to separate you from the struggle. You are not the struggle, you are the one noticing it. It is a part of you, never all of you. I love this exercise of naming your struggle, and not allowing it to engulf you. It’s the difference between saying – ‘I’m stressed,’ and saying ‘Something inside me is stressed.’ Do you notice how that feels different? Less overwhelming?
When we’re feeling stuck or we’re struggling, we are usually looking at life through a tight, narrow lens of fear, worry or blame. Try swapping that lens for something wider, a broader lens with a sense of curiosity.
Ask yourself- ‘If this struggle could teach me something, what might it be?’ You don’t need the answer immediately, the question itself starts to shift our perspective.
Find the hidden choice.
In every moment, even in the thick of it, there is always a choice available. It might be to drink a glass of water, call a friend, step outside, take three deep breaths or even just unclench your jaw. Choice creates space, space breeds opportunity.
Activate your Default Network
We can activate our Default Network by giving our brain a rest and stepping away from the immediate struggle. Allowing our minds to wander, and be ‘off topic’ actually allows for new thoughts, ideas and connections to occur, unconsciously. We can activate our Default Network by going for a walk, washing up, cleaning or doing another manual task, even by sitting and doing nothing for a while. The Default Network does not kick in when we are stimulating our brains with screens, so no phone activity or TV watching here, please. When we slow everything down and tune out, the light-bulb moments are actually more likely to occur.
“We are constantly told to make the most of our time: to stop procrastinating, to optimize and be efficient with every precious hour. But when we let our brains rest, and our minds wander, something magical happens: the brain’s ‘default network’ switches on, and we are able to think in completely new ways.”
Dr Joseph Jebelli
The Brain At Rest
What’s next?
So if you are struggling right now, please pause. Scrolling will not get you out of struggling – activate your Default Network – because you are wise, the answers are there inside you. You know what you want, you must just stop, so you can listen to yourself.
If you can, go for a walk, take a pen and paper with you, in your pocket, incase inspiration strikes.
Intend to have a refreshing walk – only. Don’t force anything.
Put a hand on your heart if you can.
Tell yourself – This is not a dead-end. This is a turning point.
Because it is.
Read The Brain at Rest – by Dr Joseph Jebelli – it really is brilliant.
If you loved this piece – let’s have a chat.
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