If you’ve typed those words into Google, I want you to know this: it already says something positive about you. You are awake, brave, and hopeful enough to be looking for something different. Struggling hurts, but it also means you are ready to make a change.
Some people think struggling means they’re weak, broken, or failing. Struggling is a signal, like a warning light on a dashboard, it’s your mind and body saying, this isn’t working, something needs attention.
Try these things to help you.
Firstly, say ‘Something inside me is struggling with…’ and fill in the blank. Don’t soften it, don’t tidy it up. This simple act begins to separate you from the struggle. You are not the struggle. You are the one noticing it. It is a part of you, never all of you.
When we’re feeling stuck or struggling, we are usually look at life through a tiny, smudged lens fear, hopelessness, or self-blame. Try swapping the lens for curiosity.
Ask ‘If this struggle could teach me something, what might it be?’ You don’t need the answer immediately the question itself starts to move energy.
Find the hidden choice. Struggle loves to convince us we have no power. But in every moment, even in the thick of it, there is always a choice available. It might be drink a glass of water, call a friend, step outside, take three breaths, or even just unclench your jaw. Choice cracks open space. Space brings freedom. Activate your Default Network (see below) – by giving your brain a rest and stepping away from the immediate struggle.
We are constantly told to make the most of our time: to stop procrastinating, to optimize and be efficient with every precious hour. But when we let our brains rest, and our minds wander, something magical happens: the brain’s ‘default network’ switches on, and we are able to think in completely new ways.
Dr Joseph Jebelli
The Brain At RestStruggling isn’t a stop sign, it is a threshold. On the other side is not perfection or having it all sorted, it’s relief, clarity, kindness, compassion and a new way forward.
What’s next?
I coach people every day through these exact moments and the thing that always strikes me is this – struggle is not proof you’re failing, it’s proof you’re alive, and that somewhere in you, you know that more ease and more freedom is possible.
So if you are struggling right now, please pause.
Put a hand on your heart if you can.
Whisper to yourself – This is not the end of the story. This is a turning point.
Because it is.
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