Every single person that has got to the top of their career, be it an artist or a business person, will have experienced a lot of rejection.
When we try everything to avoid a No, we have things all backwards.
If we get used to and even anticipate that there will probably be Nos, then Nos lose their potency.
What would you attempt if you were unafraid of the answer being No?
There will be a lot of things we don’t get in our lives.
Most of us won’t win the lottery or the school raffle, but hope comes in the form of having a chance because we bought a ticket.
When we apply for an opportunity, we pin all our hopes on that exact thing happening.
It takes so much energy to live life in that way, holding our expectations so tightly and being so downhearted and sapped of energy when it doesn’t work out, just exactly the way that we’d like.
Yes, we want it, but resilience comes from how we approach it in the first place.
I’ve been in business since 2007. We had an organic veg box delivery company for 4 years and sales was a huge part of the job. Talking to people at markets to reach new customers- we were ignored, pacified, sneered at, the lot. Then when they’d had a box, sometimes I’d ring them a few weeks later to ask if they wanted another. During this process I became much less afraid of the No. Some people said, Yes, others had questions, some didn’t want it weekly, others didn’t get through all the veg, we had all sorts of answers. Because I wasn’t caught on the idea that they had to say Yes to a box, the conversations were so much more relaxed, and of course, the result was that I probably got more Yeses.
Humans love hope.
Two of our most celebrated events in our lives are births and marriages. Both of these are an honouring of the hope we have for this new life or this new union.
So why is it that we strangle and stifle hope?
We stifle hope by having very specific expectations about how things should turn out.
How would it be if on top of getting excited about achieving the thing that we wanted, if we could also bring a lightness to that hope? Super-powering that hope.
I believe we all can live more hopeful and exciting lives if we just have a go, buy a ticket, apply for that position, follow up on that opportunity, and let go of those expectations.
We call this living from a place of creating possibilities in our lives rather than expectations.
Especially in these uncertain times, resilience is also a hugely important skill. It can be learnt and honed.
Being able to move on when you hear that No, or even more importantly, when you hear nothing back at all.
I certainly don’t have a crystal ball, I have no idea what the future holds, I do know though, that being OK with a No helps to keep me centred, and feels much better for my mental health.
Taking action to progress in your career or with your life goals means that YOU WILL FAIL, along the way. You have to, it’s essential.
So, how about actively seeking rejections/failures/Nos, you name it?
My invitation to you is to start collecting rejections. How about 25, 50, 100, 500? Create a tally and rejoice in every No. Then reward yourself with something wonderful when you hit that magic number.
In your quest to get used to receiving rejections, don’t spam people, follow the procedure for each application process, stay generous and respectful as you travel this path. Make sure that you operate within the norms of your chosen avenue.
Along the way YOU WILL get some Yeses.
Let’s celebrate the whole journey.
Happiness is a state of hope.
How to Gain Clarity and Make Powerful Decisions
How to Be Resilient
How to Not Worry About Others’ Judgment
How to Communicate Effective and Have Difficult Conversations
How to Stop Ruminating
How to Express Yourself Wholeheartedly
The Self Coach Mindcraft Course
