My seven year old was telling me how she was worried about not getting her maths sums and multiplications right at school. She was focused on her outcome of wanting to get them all correct and not making any mistakes.
Her worry at such a young age made my heart ache.
I noticed myself almost saying… “It’s all just practice, you’ll get better at maths the more you practice…” but her words hit me differently that night. It didn’t feel right to tell her to practice more to avoid those mistakes in the future. There was something more important going on that I almost missed!
All I truly want her to do is enjoy maths and be OK with the process, the outcomes just aren’t that important. She really loves maths, I want her to keep enjoying it. I believe that the more she enjoys it, the more she’ll understand. At this age, (and at every age, tbh,) we can use our own tests and challenges, (whatever they are,) to practice enjoying both failing and succeeding and getting OK with ALL of it.
She had been quite unsettled and fidgety in bed before she divulged her worry to me. After our chat she settled immediately. She stopped fidgeting and fell asleep about 10 minutes later. Wow. I felt I’d hit upon something beautifully simple and powerful for us both. I find it much easier to impart this work to adults (my clients) who are open, ready and receptive, but I’d been fishing around to find the words that my daughter could relate to.
My request to her was to concentrate on ‘doing’ each question and practice how she was ‘being’ whilst she was ‘doing’. She even identified herself that when she worried she felt foggy and stopped enjoying it.
She loves maths and wants to continue enjoying it.
So she agreed that yes, she would be happy to practice enjoying it, no matter whether she got it right or wrong.
So, how do we begin? What if we consciously practiced how we were ‘being’ instead of what we were ‘doing’? We could focus our energy on being in the moment rather than just jumping forward to what we wanted to feel later on.
Now, it’s over to you. What matters to you? What do you enjoy but you then begin to worry that you won’t get it right, or make a mistake or fail at it…?
Can you choose to enjoy the process, all of it, and in doing so, concentrate less on the outcome?
What difference might that make to the process for you?
Begin with Being Workshop
2/2/20 Sunday 2nd February 2020 10am-5pm
Inspired by the idea of being rather than getting stuck in doing…to reach being? How about a whole day dedicated to being. Being with our feelings. Being with ourselves. Being with our dreams and accessing our inner wisdom. For more info & To read reviews of Beth’s workshops/retreats