Do you feel like you don’t know what you like anymore?
You might have some free time, but you are slipping into ‘down time’ or ‘switching off’ (screen time) to manage the stresses and strains of your day?
Or you might have stretches of time in front of you with no idea what on earth to fill them with.
Either way I believe both of these ways of being are symptomatic of our detachment from our deep sense of satisfaction and not really giving ourselves every day pleasures. We can chip away at the concept of ourselves being a priority, through fear of appearing foolish, or having being criticised for our choices in the past. We stop thinking what we like and start considering what would be good enough.
Fear of getting it wrong, of not being good at something immediately, and finding solace in putting others’ needs first, all guide us further away from the cravings of our souls.
Many of us find it so very difficult to make the big leap to all of a sudden ‘knowing’ what we want.
Now we all know that doing kind things for other people makes you feel good and makes the world a better place, but if you are not filling your own battery, then you will run out of juice to help others, so it defeats the object.
To bring joy we can create joy for ourselves, and invite others’ to share in that too.
So the creation of a Fun & Pleasure List for yourself is a way to remind yourself of the sensory pleasures and experiences you enjoy and would like to invite more of into your life.
Have 3 categories
1. Sensory things I enjoy and can do on a daily basis:
eg. light my candles
clean bed sheets
a warm shower/bath and into bed early with a good book (phone on silent/off)
feeding the birds (buy some bird food)
2. Weekly/monthly activities to plan, on own or invite others to:
eg. dog walk and Sunday lunch in a dog friendly pub
bring a curry night with friends
board game/ cards afternoon
stop and listen to the birds in the park
3. Longer term places to visit things to plan
eg. Michelin starred taster menu every year
see the Northern/Southern lights
truffle hunting with a guide
What’s the point of creating a list like this?
Creating your own pleasure. It does not need to be perfect, just practice asking yourself what you like/enjoy and take action in experiencing it. Share it with friends/loved ones, invite them to make one too.
I once invited my family to do this at Christmas, we were all staying at my Mum & her partner’s house and I asked everyone to share 2 things that would make it a lovely Christmas for them. We all named our pleasures and made them all happen for each of us. They included: going to Midnight Church Service, singing carols, a very quick dip in the sea and a meal by candlelight.
Looking for inspiration:
Also, here is the concept of creating a pain and pleasure list. Do less from one list and more from the other.