BLOG: How long are you going to spend trying to prove yourself?

I have been thinking recently about my coaching business & how I can best serve those people I feel I am born to coach. As my practice has jumped up a notch recently I have been looking at what direction I want to go in-rather than being a one coach fits all- I have been comparing myself to my friends/coaching associates-Jana Schuberth, Corrina Gordon Barnes, Alison Foy & Zoe Hoppe-all people I love & respect for their work. I have been thinking alot about what MY special magic coaching skill is-like what my special super hero power is! I got myself in quite a tangle comparing myself, thinking what I’m good at, thinking about what I need to improve & flexing my marketing/ promotion muscles… The tangle I found myself in had resulted from spending ALOT of time reading everyone’s work-thinking-wow-that’s great, absorbing all of their ideas, admiring their viewpoint.

I had not giving myself the time to think of mine, let my own work come out of it’s own accord.

It came to the crunch the other night, when I felt paralysed by myself-how can I prove to myself & everyone that I’m a great coach? I just couldn’t see the woods for the trees.

I felt rotten-stunted, dried up of creativity & tired. I hadn’t rested properly for days, worrying about how I could show the world who I am. I needed help.

I found a lead meditation class near to my house and went on Tuesday. I talked to the group there about my dilemma & they were very helpful. As soon as I put the time aside to just be quiet & listen to myself -the penny dropped.

I have so much love & compassion inside of me, all this worry was stopping any flow. Why was I worrying about proving myself? Does a flash catchy website mean I’m a good coach-NO! Does adding funny & inspiring comments to my Twitter account mean I’m a good coach-NO! Does showing the world how insightful I am make me a good coach-NO NO NO!

Do I know I’m a great coach-in my heart-YES-this is what I was born to do. What was I wasting all my time trying to prove? I am it already. From my chat with the meditation group & my subsequent calm meditation-I knew it was true. I feel re-energised and free to give to the world again-not stunted by comparing. I was ready again to give unconditionally.

How long are you going to spend trying to prove yourself?

Who are you proving yourself to? Your boss? Your partner? Your friends? Yourself?

How will you ever really know that you have proved yourself? Do you have a preconceived state of results that will show you that you have arrived? How long do you believe that feeling will last for? Will it wear off & will you then be in a place of proving again very quickly? Is it a case of telling yourself you’ll have proved yourself when…

When I have this… When I know that… When so & so smiles at me… When I have ££ in the bank… When I am a success…(?) When I feel better… When I feel excited/safe/proud/inspired…

In expending energy trying to prove and demonstrate that you are of importance in the world, you are subscribing to the belief that you are not important, until you prove otherwise.

Is that true?

In your efforts to show the world that you are good enough, you are starting from a point believing that without proof, you are worth nothing, you lack substance. Is that substance not already inherent within you? You are already who you are. There is nothing to prove.

A mindset with a desire to prove themselves to anyone else or themselves comes from a place of not really KNOWING how perfect & complete they are already.

Knowing how perfect and complete you are already is vital in freeing yourself to see what is possible for you to DO with your amazing BEING.

This is not arrogance, just acceptance of what is.

Go BE-give yourself without fear, be the contribution that you are & for goodness sake-BE. Go BE happy.